Magazine Issue – Chat, Fun and News – (As an entertaining Christmas gift)

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bunty compilation

Read on…

Look at this picture! Look at the poster the Lego shop have put in the window!

lego

Aaaaaaaaargh! No let me try and express myself more clearly, aaaaaaaaargh. Its not right, its not right, its not right, it should be,,,, aaaaaaaaargh! It is just wrong. You fall off the edge. Read it aloud. Try it. You fall off the edge.

Pick and mix Lego bricks. Pick and mix Lego bricks. Pick and mix Lego bricks! I will say it one more time and then I might feel better. I might feel the world is OK. Pick and mix Lego bricks.

Pick and mix Lego Bricks!

Ssssheeeeeeeesh.

A Fortean moment, as a fan of Charles Fort I like to include a Fortean incident of some kind whenever I can IE a phenomena; this time it is a cryptozoology experience.

A weird creature. Not a Big Foot. Not a Tazmanian Devil. Not a mer-creature. And not, sadly, a black panther.

I nearly fulfilled my bucket list dream however. I might have seen a white one!?

As a storyteller and host of story shares I have heard quite a few accounts of black panthers in Britain. Several of them quite convincing too. I know I am convinced and it is a long-held wish to see such a sight.

It looks like I have got it wrong though, perhaps my readers can help identify the thing I saw.

I was watching the scenery go by as on a train near Malton. I had just thought to myself that in this bad weather I had not seen much wildlife. Then I thought, ah well, at least there is a dog walking along the riverbank.

But no, it wasn’t a dog.

It was bigger than an alsation but lower to the ground, about the girth of a small sheep. Its white legs were short and it seemed to swing its hips like a cat. the low hanging tail swayed and was wide as if it had been blow-dried, I think it curled up at the end.

My next thought was, ‘Polecat,’ but the size made me wonder, as did the cat-like walk.

It was probably less than ten seconds, but the movement, the size and the shape have stayed with me.

I have seen a white panther! (perhaps)

awb
This is nothing like it at all

 

 

I dreamed this, so I created it, I hope it is funny and interesting, and doesn’t make too many people cross 🙂

women wrong

And look at this!

toilet

No way. I am not using the bin! I left. I will go and wee somewhere else!

Unbag Bum Your Friend

Unbag bum your friend – Please. So many of you do not, and you should. So often you see a woman walking along with a handbag over her shoulder and her skirt has ridden up under the bag. (This usually only happens to the one cheek.)

There she is walking down the street showing half her knicker and there by her side is her friend, her friend who is not saying a thing!

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Picture deleted

This must change. Remember. Whenever this occurs Unbag Bum You Friend. A few quiet words will do the trick.

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Deleted

And don’t even get me started on people on busses!

Actual Fact: There are almost 11,000 different known species of birds on this planet but only half of them actually lay eggs.

Genuine Newspaper Headline: (Brighton Argos – August 2013) Council calls in counsellors to counsel councillors

Less True Headline: SUICIDAL TWIN KILLS SISTER BY MISTAKE.

Next Issue: Something more Christmassy

Or

I might tell you about the gay guy thrown off the plane (it is actually a quite heartening story) and other travelling companions I have encountered.

So here is something more seasonal…

Viking Traditions

http://valkyrja.com

A wonderful site covering all aspects of life as a present day Viking and a beautiful glimpse into the past. Here is a post from last year covering the Viking festivities of long ago. A fascinating read…

http://valkyrja.com/arkiv2014.html

valk log
http://valkyrja.com

But no – I will add more – let’s make it a bit more Christmassy…..

Here’s a gift I was sent by Carol MacAllister (the writer based in Puerto Rico)

santa warrior

And here is my Christmas thought…

repeats

Here are a couple of my Christmas cards I received…

fairy wishes 02

god jul
Lovely old card from Sharon Emery

And if you think my cards are newsworthy, wait till you see my presents!

pressies scotland
A pile came from Scotland
pressie display
I built my usual display

All wonderful, but there were highlights; like these from my daughter.

ice trays
Yes, Ice trays!?

My daughter knows I love ice in everything, and she also knows I love to have a big bag of it in the freezer. So, why buy me ice trays? She has thought about how much I travel. So these are portable ice trays. They are for me to bring to you, so I can set up to have ice wherever I go. Get ready for a visit!

Who groaned!?!

Now I know I am moving well away from being internationally newsworthy when I share the personal experience of a picture of one of my grand kids but it is Christmas…

elmore xmas
Elmore, or Elmooorrr as my mum calls him.

No wait, that is newsworthy, it is international, it is humanity, it is us, it is universal.

Smile please.

But there is more….

My sister. Ginny. what did she get me?

A Christmas hamper. A Bunty for girls pink ribboned Christmas hamper!

Just look at this…

bunty
Bunty for girls Christmas hamper.

But why?

It is the perfect present.

I confessed to her recently that I always used to wait till she had finished with it and pinch it to read myself. I enjoyed it more than my comic; Valiant.

(Besides, look at the great sweets)

What was my favourite bit. I confessed that too. The dolly cut outs. I always used to make them.

dolly cut outs
and dress them too

More on those later. But we havent even got to the best present yet….

The best present.

It was stolen from me.

It was a wonderful present.

puppet theatre
Thank you Mum, but it was ruined

I only nipped upstairs for a wee, and Gramey had been instructed to make two more Martinis (with Olive, Walnut, Ice and Rocket).

Look what I found when I returned…

puppet princess
There once was a princess
puppet theatre old mum
She had a lovely Mum
puppet theatre good wizard
A good wizard always looked out for her welfare

But

puppet theatre evil wizard
There was an evil wizard
puppet theatre abducted
He abducted her

He did what! He Did What!

puppet theatre abducted
He abducted her

But

but

But what happened then…

puppet theatre the end
The End

No, no, no, Gramey you cannot finish it like that!

puppet theatre gramey

Gramey! don’t ever get a job as a storyteller. Ever.

I must go now. Chloe found me loads more Bunty dolly cut outs to print off. so I am going to spend the rest of the holiday doing those…

bunty compilation

You enjoyed this now read my fun travelogue

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6 thoughts on “Magazine Issue – Chat, Fun and News – (As an entertaining Christmas gift)

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