Strange, – the things you do when you are in theatre

Strange, – the things you do when you are in theatre

Yes, strange,

mort tarot 04

I have just spent a whole evening making a set of tarot cards

And

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Mort pic
mort tarot 01

They are all the same. (You need to get yourself over to York, UK to see this.)

Next job???

Proper Chips wrapped in newspaper

Saying Thank You

Your donation of $3 will encourage me to continue in my creative efforts.

$3.00

Oski and the Amulet – Children’s Viking Comic Book Story

This wonderful story has just been accepted for publication by Facts and Fiction Magazine

A more recent version is here – please click through

Adrian Spendlow The Blog

Children’s Viking Comic Book Story

oski pic

A highly imaginative story created by Adrian with the children of Robert Wilkinson Primary Academy as part of the 2015 Jorvik Viking Festival.

Oski and the Amulet

There Oski lay in her chamber, her secret chamber. It was a dark, dusty, murky, damp, cold, bone-filled, chamber.in cave
“Sssh its a secret,” they whispered as they hid the cave entrance.sssssh
The people of the halls were normally kind to her, she didn’t understand why they hid her away whenever there were visitors to their community.farm
(Oski wears a long white dress, when she heals or her amulet does magic her dress transforms into a shimmering gown. And later she will have a train that shimmers and gives off light.)oski light

There were painted carvings set into the walls all around like a story. She had often looked at them and thought how the girl looked like her. Yet…

View original post 1,884 more words

Grumble Monthly – A new magazine series to join such as Poem Pics, Chatty Mag and Rant of the Week etc

it grows, whether I am happy about it or not

ade-scarygreen

Adrian Spendlow The Blog

Grumble Monthly – A new magazine series to join such as Poem Pics, Chatty Mag and Rant of the Week etc

I am updating this page and re-blogging it with loads more new stuff in it, cos I had this idea that I might be funny. My mate tells me I am not all that funny usually. Except – when I bitch-slap.ade-scarygreen

Get me mad or give me a platform to grumble and then I am entertaining. That’s what she said any way.

So you are going to have to put up with it right.

Well only once a month or so.

I will collect up all my grumbles and put them altogether into a themed magazine issue (just one of my many threads oh yes).ade

(People who see my posts on Facebook will be breathing a sigh of relief at this point, “Oh Thank the Gods, we don’t have…

View original post 2,483 more words

Grumble Monthly – A new magazine series to join such as Poem Pics, Chatty Mag and Rant of the Week etc

Grumble Monthly – A new magazine series to join such as Poem Pics, Chatty Mag and Rant of the Week etc

ade-scarygreen

I am updating this page and re-blogging it with loads more new stuff in it, cos I had this idea that I might be funny. My mate tells me I am not all that funny usually. Except – when I bitch-slap.

Get me mad or give me a platform to grumble and then I am entertaining. That’s what she said any way.

So you are going to have to put up with it right.

Well only once a month or so.

ade

I will collect up all my grumbles and put them altogether into a themed magazine issue (just one of my many threads oh yes).

(People who see my posts on Facebook will be breathing a sigh of relief at this point, “Oh Thank the Gods, we don’t have to see his miserable posts three times a day.)

Super –posters are going to be the subject of my vitriol quite soon I can tell you. Ah, no, it will have to wait till next month and I will have to be nice in between times.

Mark My Words I will be jotting it all down and saving it up, so watch them posts of yours, cos I am…

Poundshops. They sell me far too much stuff. It is ridiculous. Oooo a fly swatter, I would like one of those. No. You get five. Five. What on earth do I want with five fly swatters!!!!!!

Lobster pots, they get me mad. There you are having a nice walk by the harbour and there are loads of them piled up (I actually think fishermen/fisherpeople are lazy as them pots are always there on the harbour – they ought to get out fishing more often). People wander by and they go, “Ooooo look lobster pots.” Have you looked at the seafood stalls! Loads of crabs, and like, two lobsters. They are crab pots, crab pots, what are you calling them lobster pots for! That’s why I am cross about Lobster Pots.

Oh no I have gone and called them that now.

loti notice 01

Allotments. The committee have gone and put up a map board – ‘You are here’. It is rubbish, well for most of the year anyway. It is only actually accurate in mid-winter; the rest of the year it means nothing. Nothing.

Or.

loti notice 03

It could be they have just recently repainted the notice board. So no one is putting notices on it in case it gets spoilt.

loti notice 02

Yes that’s it, look, cos next to it there is a really old one and people are putting their notices on that.

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And that Michelle, (not that I should really grumble about my wonderful friend), but what a rubbish greenhouse you have. Admittedly it has been in her shed for years unopened. So I borrowed it, and took it to another friends allotment to set up for our mutual seeds (don’t read anything into that phrase this is not a social networking pop up ad.)

But look at it.

pop up 01
Note the bag of pegs
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I opened the packaging and it exploded, shot up in the air and became an instant greenhouse.. But what good is it ! There is only room for one plant. You have to peg it down to stop it blowing away. There isn’t a hole anywhere or a lid or anything. How on earth are you going to give it any water! They do need that you know. I hope it blows away.  Someone else can put their plant in it only for it to die.

cold frame
plants 02
plants 03
plants 04

So I built one from bits laying about.

If you look closely at any of these pictures you will probably see some Mares Tail / Horsetail Fern. It is everywhere. And its roots go down to Australia. Turns out, one of the allotments is rented by the local horticultural college and about thirty years ago, they came and said, look we have a revolutionary way to get rid of Horsetail Fern. Can we come and work on the finer details in tests on an allotment? They planted the whole allotment with the stuff. Then. The tests failed. They didn’t have solution after all. Now. All two hundred and fifty allotments (vegetable gardens), are full of the stuff.

Look out Australia!

oz turned
Jocular yet slightly racist ignorance helped position this image

Whenever I am on a train, I look out at some point and there is a BATA. It says it is a country store and everyone is welcome. What the hell do they sell? I’ve never been in one. They are plonked out of the way by the railway and you never ever pass one by any other means of transport. Welcome? Pah!

mum cool

Two pouts and you are out. My mum says you can’t trust anyone nowadays cos everything has been taken over by spammers and tricksters and all the cowboys she sees on them programs she watches that warn you about stuff. Well. She is right. I get at least one friend request a day. When you go on to look, they have nothing on their page at all. Nothing except their two pics, one for the profile, one for the cover pic. They are wearing a short shirt, they have big eyes and they are pouting. Remember my rule to get you through life –Two Pouts and you are OUT.

(btw I did have a genuine friend request one time fairly recently I am sure)

Spoiler alert –

This next bit is going to spoil a film for you, so scroll down past it quick.

Castaway.

Six long years he was there on that island. He could not escape because no boat with just oars would ever get over the great big reef that goes all the way round his tiny little miserable island. He crashed there with a huge pile of parcels he was supposed to deliver. He was going to deliver those parcels. He was going to get away from here and get home and do his job. He would. But one by one he opened the parcels, and each time it was something useful that saved his life. His long miserable life dreaming of the woman he loved who was now with someone else (A dentist!). When he eventually gets home he personally delivers the last parcel. Very emotional.

laundry day spares

It is a true story. I recently, quite by chance, met the actual woman who received the parcel. (btw if you scrolled down a paragraph to avoid the spoiler it is in this one actually.) I actually met her, the real woman. I asked her…. What was in the parcel? The answer… Loads of bedding and a tent.

(Six years)

(Did ‘six years’ over egg the joke?)

I hate Kinder Ninjas. It has been driving me mad. Ages trying to work out what to do with it. But I did it. I have one on my key ring and I am ready…

Is there a message in random happenings? I have just counted up, and I have been given or had bought for me 11 suitcases. Is there a message in this for me?

Random equals synchronicity. I see it in everything. I believe in it. There is always a message. Then I read Jung. He says, there is no such thing as synchronicity, yet there is great power in it.

I like that. I like that.

Then. I read an article by some psychologist. He says random events are random events. There is no meaning in them happening at the same time. By their very nature random events are random. They are not evenly spaced because then they would not be random. So, they are bound to cluster. That is their nature to randomly appear and sometimes to randomly appear all at once. That is random.

I do not like that at all.

horned

and that Vikings Uncovered thing on the telly – they ought to rename it – Myth Busting for Idiots (that’s my mini review)

Is it just me, or when you go on Facebook right, there is scroll along bar of recommended friends for you – How come every one of them looks like an absolute fruit cake.

And any of them social networking sites or twenty funny pictures pages n stuff, how come all the adverts down the side are always for really weird kinky strange stuff!

[blog update – ah, I’ve just been informed the adverts on pages you visit are tailored specially to you and relate to your search interests]

That Alan Sugar (I think it was him, but it might have been some other guy), anyway them queues in the garage – btw when I say garage I mean the shop where you go to pay for your petrol and buy stuff like flowers cos you forgot to get someone a present (see below).

You are in the queue right and the adverts are put on just for you, that guy, or maybe someone else I forget, right, made millions out of it, well a bit anyway. All they did was, went to a software company and said invent this please. There is a camera looking at you and it is linked to face recognition software. And it assesses the people lined up and determines their age, gender and stuff. Then it works out the majority profile and puts ads up about things they like. Loads of old ladies in the queue? = Ads for denture baths and elasticated hosiery. That sort of thing.

When I was in the queue the ads were all sorts of weird strange things!?

Norwegians (in my opinion) don’t learn English, they learn American English. So a garage is a gas station or a petrol station. Stuff like that. There’s loads more but I will grumble about it in another blog. No. Wait. I am getting radged now. Candy. Candy!!!!! It’s sweets.

Aeroplanes. They can’t have very good engines on these things if they have to put you in the dark by turning off all the lights before they can take off.

Ads for dating sites. They are always on saying our site will get you the right person you don’t want to be going on those ones that just ask about a couple of things about you.

What if I wanted to go out with a camel!

Thought: The chaos of the universe is mine and I should just do what I do. Accept my faults and failings and live. Lord knows there is love and acceptance there for me. I am damaged goods. Sometimes I forget the happiness, the sharing, the affection others bring. Thank you to all those who see the brilliance shine. I might just have a light in me.

Somewhere.

Shopping online with a friend is faster and easier or so I read – I don’t understand how the world works any more I don’t.

Buses. When you leave the stop before yours, press the bell. Then the driver knows she has to stop at the next stop in plenty of time. Do not sit there with your finger on the bell looking out all anxious and press it just as you get to the next stop. Don’t do that.

Don’t talk to people either. They don’t want to know. Woman in front of me the other day, she looks at the (slightly large) woman across from her who has a pushchair and says, ‘It that your granddaughter?’ No. It wasn’t. The poor woman looks round and says, ’It’s mine.’ All choked up she was. She actually got off a few stops early and walked so she could have a cry. As she got off the bus the woman in front of me says, ‘Nice talking to you’. No it wasn’t.

And another thing, that democracy. It is all well and good having democracy but the trouble is, there are some horrible people out there. How come they get included in the right to vote!!! It just doesn’t seem fair to me.

Junk mail goes in a folder marked junk mail, but some junk mail goes in your inbox marked junk. It’s like that advert where some people are allowed in the park and others aren’t. Junk! Why does it do it! Does it forget its own rules sometimes? Or does it think, oooops I’ve put that in the inbox and now I’ve decided it is junk, better mark it quick so I don’t look daft? Does it think?

And I will tell you another thing

[You have exceeded your space allowance for this month, please try again in a few weeks]

Part I

We must never join in my friend. We must be what we are and do what we do. We must never join in my friend. It takes so long. No one notices what we do, but we are in on the zeitgeist, we are the past and the future and often not quite the moment, we are what we are and believe; we must never crumble my friend. Nothing is ever the end. Except the end. And that is a temporal thing beyond this existence. Try stepping into how other people live. No. this is not us. This is not us my friend. We live in dream. Only dreams. Only dreams of what we can say. Of what we can do. Of what we can make be. And we sing brother. Oh my god how we sing. Let your visions be. Let your software searches be a thing of the long long moment. Watch those blue bars pass. Edit the moment again and again and again. Dive into excitement. Dive into possibility. Be. Just be. Because you are just perfect as you are. And we are in this totally crazy forever forever moment forever. Never doubt. Who out there is the same? Who of the people we meet could be us. Never doubt. Be. Never doubt; be. Because. Because of a thousand things you hold in your heart. All of it is bursting out and will be seen. Will be experienced, in the heart of others, it will, it will. My crazy friend. My crazy friend.  My friend.

Never doubt.

gra

I wrote the above after I realised I had joined the world of editors, sitting in a little corner watching blue bars go by. I once told Gramey that everyone has a destiny in life and a purpose and that his main quality was an ability to watch blue bars go across the screen. He reacted as if I had placed a curse on him! Now I watch them. We are in fact The Blue Bar Boys. Not that they are always blue of course. I have been watching the black line one on my editing software a lot lately. One observes stuff which seem so of interest at the time. IE It takes longer for the bar to go from 99% to 100% than it does to get from 1 to 99 altogether. And the first 45% goes by in a flash. I don’t suppose there is any use for this information but it seems important when you are watching it.

Does watching the bar go by help at all? I feel like I am helping it along when I sit there. Sit there staring. Then when it clicks through to completed and I can at last start work again, what do I I do? Get up and go and make a coffee. Why on earth didn’t I do that when I was sat doing nothing!

What I endure is nothing to the time Gramey feels he loses. I felt he might need a reminder that there are usually beautiful outcomes to all his hard work.

Saying Thank You

Your donation of $3 will encourage me to continue in my creative efforts.

$3.00

The Horned God and the Wild Hunt – Viking Comic Inc. II – Exciting New Art Input

Click here for the most recent version

seeress toni
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text across globe
artists note
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art by jodie hazel
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a warning
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text box title
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tent feast
veiw from tent 01
edwina reservation
pic footer camp 01
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camp 05 boxed
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seeress toni
toni db footer
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jude reservation
creature spirits alarmed 03 coloured cropped
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wild creature
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lukefoster 01
luke f pic 01 art footer
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you 02
pic footer camp 01
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join the hunt 02
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georg snow 01
georg pic 01 art footer
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on ice lightened
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on ice lightened flipped
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winter harsh
toni db footer
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on ice darkened
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rides
siw reservation
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follow flies
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arrows.JPG
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neandertal
always hunt
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is dead
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death ahead coloured
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peak
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text jackie header
Vol 11 Rock picture
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follow flies
ana tree hunt
ana footer
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dark forest
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creatures run
edwina reservation
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Mat 01
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path of blight
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rides
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tent feast
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halls and cave
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camp pic
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fire wyrm 04 darkened cropped
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text peter t header
darker forest
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peter t pic 01
peter t pic 01 art footer
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slaughter
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ben davies 01
ben d pic 01 art footer
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polution
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text mark w header
ship home
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mark w pic 01
mark w pic 01 art footer
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more
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at worst
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hut
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camp flipped
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hairy viking
ana pic footer
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oyvind bone 01
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oyvind bone 02 flipped
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egil in hall 01
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great gates lightened
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girl viking speaks 01
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great armies 01
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girl viking speaks 01
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egil in hall 01
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seeress toni cropped
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jude reservation
ana emerging
Ana Maus (Being moved to another spot shortly)
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tony 01
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tony monster battlelimb 01 cropped
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draugen drawn flipped
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egil feast
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slept
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bursting walls 01
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draugen drawn dad
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egil dies drawing
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draugen drawn dad head
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oski head
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devoured
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beheaded 02
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snapped zena and me
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halved 02
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slaughter flipped
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roaring
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last seen
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monster leaps colour
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49 Swimming Man
slenderman
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stench
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group 03
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fire wyrm 02 darkened
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39 Longship
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group 04
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jonothan mcdonald pic 01
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you 01
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join the hunt 02
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ship sails text box 02
jodie ship sails 02
art by jodie hazel
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wild hunt rises baying 01
whale spouts
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underwater painted
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ana m fish
ana footer
leviathon gets me
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leah reservation
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lethiathon leaps b 02 coloured
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whale mouth 02
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swallowed
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out the whale
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egil 03 flipped corrected
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egil 02 flipped cropped
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small force
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but men
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but men
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on horses 06 boxed
art by jodie hazel
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art by jodie hazel
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Georg falls 02 coloured.jpg
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simen fights to death coloured 03
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from behind coloured 02
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well coloured
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lars rides
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vigdis and jeppe spears 02
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text fight and fall
above
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from behind coloured
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simen fights to death coloured washed 05
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just you 02 coloured
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fills
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the horned
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flies
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hunt fight fire wyrm 01
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you join fight 01
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you 02
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47 Rainbow
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credited
if
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share
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jh link
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je link
a link.jpg
more of me.jpg
hammer link
tour link
oski link

greek link
text intro 01

Saying Thank You

Your donation of $3 will encourage me to continue in my creative efforts.

$3.00

Let the Devil Ride Out

Let the Devil Ride Out

I wonder

I do wonder

If Crowley was right

‘Do what you will’

Do

Do what you will

For you devils

You Terrible Devils up there

Cannot hear our plea

To do what we will

Do what we will

and we will be free

To do what we will

Hear this

What we will

What we will

What we will

……………….AS

Footnote; reference and correction, Wheatley wrote The Devil Rides Out and the occultist Crowley said, ‘Do what you will’ I have always felt this was a terrible phrase but suddenly thought it can be turned around, if everyone is able to do what they will then evil ones who dominate others must give way to allow all.

Saying Thank You

Your donation of $3 will encourage me to continue in my creative efforts.

$3.00

Mini Blog

Mini Blog

I have had a great night out, but I think we may be trapped inside a game of cards against humanity

I was thrilled with the level of responses to my Facebook post ‘What, no milk’ as it was only aimed at a certain few I thought would understand it.

My taking over the world target which only needs one person in Greenland to read my blog and I will have three quarters of the world covered might end up that just the small part that is habitable will be highlighted on my views map. Not the same thing at all.

I have found out I need a coloured tail.

When I get booked for a festival it turns out there are a whole team of us going!

Minor events are better than bigger ones.

Jacobs Well is supposed to be a holy building but the name is a joke title from when it was a pub – ie beer will give you eternal youth.

None of us are perfect and sometimes we embarrass ourselves.

None of us are perfect and we need to be nice to others and not too reliant.

On a different tack; people who might be diagnosed as autistic would rather not be on a spectrum actually, it is far too woolly and about rainbows. I lie not.

Mental health issues are managed by pub staff in a tolerant practical way.

I should sew more.

The girl who died at the Columbine massacres painted the same number of tears in her painting on the morning of her death as the number of people who died.

People are capable of so so much and have so many skills.

I learned what biscuits and gravy are and it is not gravy.

As in teacakes are not teacakes and high tea is not high tea. So much depends on where you are.

Sop is a stomach churning topic to some.

Beer in the house of trembling madness is all strong (4.5 to 41 per cent.

I am in a Viking theatre group and the members will die (except one).

I am living history and the best storyteller ever seen.

Share this with Greenland for godsakes.

Oh yes and Filey Dragon Festival had better watch out.

Saying Thank You

Your donation of $3 will encourage me to continue in my creative efforts.

$3.00

Chatty Happenings – a kind of magazine again

spring 02
Now that’s spring cleaning!

I am spring cleaning and have made a terrible mess.

spring 03
This is not the mess

Nine times today huge piles of things or shelves of ornaments have collapsed on to the already mentioned mess.

Here are some of the bits that survived…

spring 04
spring 05
spring 07
I am a third of the way round – the walls

Nine shelves! Does this mean anything?

Does my dream? I dreamed last night that I broke up a load of Jacobs crackers poured them on to a baking tray, covered them in blobs of butter then popped them in the oven with loads of grated cheese. I dreamed that this was very important. Is it? Would it be any good.

Thank God Iv’e got that off my chest.

Note typo.

I will soon be twenty two. Did I type that?! Sixty Two. I have just discovered the difference between its and it’s. I am a writer, or I thought I was. Its It’s simple really.

Oooops, ten (crashes that is).

I better get tidying.

But then again –  Personal experience is a lie.

I am not going into details on that one, quote me when I am gone though.

I did once send a text to a guy who was also doing a spot at a festival on the same stage as me, I meant to say, ‘I am looking forward to your bit’ – I glanced as I pressed send, it said, ‘I am looking forward to your obit.’

Phone disaster; I went camping didn’t I. Off I went to join the Vanaheim Vikinglag at the National meet. I am honoured to be invited to be a part of the York University Medieval Society’s Viking team – Vanaheim. We have a beer named after us and everything.

eric cards
I bow to my great King

It poured.

I bought a hat (in the charity auction)

big hat
It came in very useful.

I also made a thousand pounds! Well, they were selling a mystery gift at the end so I threw in two mystery prizes which made a wonderful – £14! What were they? Two Kinder Joy eggs.

What is a Kinder Joy?

kinder girl
Joy

That fourteen pounds took the total up to a thousand quid. So I claimed all the credit.

I took the history test. I passed. With a lot of help. Three people stood over me giving me clues. But I made it. Perhaps I should keep quiet about the fact that the Spendlow’s York audio history of the Vikings is available at jelldragon.com ?

The hat. Very useful. It poured. The wind howled and shook tents. I put the hat on, pulled the sleeping bag up to meet it and slept like a storage jar.

I slept in.

I missed the Village Test.

village test
Complete four of the tasks correctly.

I guess I would have passed.

cooking
Lamb Broth

Seeing as I have lived as a Viking for weeks at a time. Put up loads of Viking tents. And cooked for fifteen to twenty people a night for a week on an open fire. See Neanderthal cave bread.

But then again.

I failed the history test.

I was right about the Viking age starting in 500 AD and lasting till 1250 though I guarentee. I shouldn’t argue should I.

But then again, I have seen a moose leap.

Perhaps I am horrible after all. I just shopped in Savers, bought a few things, like washing powder and stuff. As the counter person lifted them out one by one she said, ‘Can I interest you in razors or razor blades today at all sir?’ I didn’t speak. I leant into the basket, lifted up the packet of razors and pointed them at her face without speaking. Horrid. Thats what I am.

I have learned how to make string though.

And Viking-age buzzer games.

I look forward to Whitby when I shall be taking the acting test, the Skald test, and the appearance test; and then I will be able to tell stories.

And I might even have a go with the Hiberno-Norse sling workshop.

Truth is I am wanting to learn; shoe making, basket making and bone and leather carving.

And I want to buy an axe.

Back to the phone – actually that is the reason I started writing this blog – but I tend to digress.

I awoke – in the tent – after a hurricane.

My phone was in the corner – under a pool of water. It worked. It worked for three days. Then I was ringing my mum and I thought, ‘My hand is wet’. I looked; the back of the phone was soaking and so was my hand. It worked wet. It worked soaked. It dried out. It packed in!

I am not stupid though. I knew the way to do it was to leave it in a bag of rice over night. I didn’t have any.

Hah. You can’t get the better of me. I put it in a box of lasagne.

Oh. It didn’t work. Not to worry, I have a bag of mixed fruit, surely this will work….

Other news

I found my pig…

pig

I learnt secret techniques…

wild creature
by me

Five minutes looking at art with Gramey Smith (gsmithmedia) and I learnt how to illustrate the latest Viking Graphic novel.

roaring
Draugen

I collaborated

bursting walls 01
Jodie Hazel with my additions

For the next Graphic Novel

I released a single.

miracle food

Invented a new miracle health food.

Shall I do a separate blog about it?

It is the sort of thing that goes viral you know.

I have been publishing online live via video conferencing with the wonderful Aspire group.

I have been practising becoming Cyndi Lauper – no pic here!

Thank you Eric but I am king now…

sea king
That’s Eric and Georg kicked aside in one blow

Right back to the spring cleaning – ooops!

lm

Give feedback or be placed up in the dungeon!

(oh yes dungeons were up not down btw)

What’s On

mort

I am also in this, and I definitely do not have a walk on part. BTW I dedicate this blog to wonderful work a friend has done in overcoming past obstacles and inspiring me to face my demons of long ago – thank you with my heart 🙂

Anyway. More What’s On…

daisy
vincent

Saying Thank You

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