Viking Saga in a Nutshell – As performed at Gudvangen Viking Market 2017
See ‘how to’ at the bottom for ways to turn these shortened sagas into performances
Sigurd the Warrior
The warrior thrust his sword – into his scabbard
Mounted his mighty horse – and rode through the night
And the next day
And the next night
Ahead was an enormous mountain
In the mountain was a huge cave
He leapt from his horse – and strode in
Up a long high tunnel
Towards an enormous cave
In the cave was an enormous heap of gold
Upon the gold was an enormous dragon
“Roar”
He crouched in fear, “I cannot kill this thing!”
Two birds landed on his shoulders and whispered,
“Dig a hole” “What with?”
“Dig with your sword.” “Why?”
“Just dig, dig, and leap in!”
The great monster awakes
Sigurd the warrior crouches down with his sword
The monstrous dragon flies out through the tunnel
Sigurd stabs, stabs, urg, hu, arg, p,dumph
The dragon bites, RRRRaphnth!
Sigurd slices, “Hahahahahahaha!”
“Hahahahahahaha!”
Sigurd Awakens Brinhild
Sigurd the warrior raised his sword
He sliced right through the dragon’s neck
And from its claw he took the cursed gold ring
“I will go and seek my fortune”
“Hang on, I already have a fortune”
He filled his saddlebags with dragon’s gold
He rode away on his horse which was afraid of nothing – nothing
Nothing
Forests, swamps, mountains
Upon a far mountain is a tall tower
Surrounded by flames
The horse leaps
Through the air
Through the flames
Sigurd dismounts inside the tower
Laid asleep upon a stone bed is…
The most beautiful woman he has ever seen
She was unclothed
He took her in his arms
He kissed her
She awoke, “I love you”
“I love you too – will you marry me?”
He put the ring upon her finger
The cursed ring
That is just the beginning of a story – where
Everybody dies
For the Love of Freyja – and the Walls of Asgard
The big boss god of all the Viking gods?
OOOOOOOOOOOdin
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOdin
His city was in ruins
Ruins
Along came a handsome stranger
“I will build the walls of your city for you”
“And all I want in return is…”
“The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as my wife oooooo”
“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as my wife oooooo”
Odin said, “You want what!”
“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as my wife oooooo”
That is a lot, I will ask Loki
“What does he want paying?”
“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as his wife oooooo”
“Only if he can get it done in less than half a year”
Odin told the stranger…
“But will you still pay me “Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as my wife oooooo”
“And can my horse help?”
“Hahaha what good is a horse? It was a magical horse
It flew down and picked up a mountain
The stranger used it as a brick
It flew down and picked up a mountain
The stranger used it you get the idea
He will get it down in time and then we will have to pay him
“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as his wife oooooo”
Loki turned into a beautiful lady horse brrrrrrr
The stallion followed her
Into the magical woods
Now the stranger wouldn’t get the job done in time and he wouldn’t get paid…
“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as his wife oooooo”
He threw off his handsome disguise and became the rock giant he really was
He went to biff Odin
But Odin biffed him
He biffed him so hard he flew all the way back to the land of the giants
The walls were nearly finished and Odin didn’t have to pay…
“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as his wife oooooo”
Loki
The god of mischief
Trickery
Cruelty
“When the goddess awakes see how she screams”
Loki laughs “hehehehe”
“Hehehehehe”
He is also a shape changer god
(say to the cast,) “Say the names of four random creatures or things”
The gods had had enough of him
They threw away his children
The giant snake they threw into the sea, “Roar, sploosh”
The monster wolf into the ground “hoooooowl”
His putrid, rotten daughter down to the underworld
Scream!
Burning poison was dripped on Loki’s face
“All scream together!”
“See my daughter fly her ship of the dead”
“And we will kill you all!”
“Hahahahahaha” –
“Haha”
That is the end of Loki’s story, in which…
[Say to the cast] (“All say together, “Everybody dies” on the count of three.) 1 2 3 “Everybody dies!”
Ragnarok
The end of the world, where everybody dies
Gods, Monsters, wolves and slaves
Everyone fights together until they die
Did we mention everybody dies?
Because they do
The sea rises up and swallows the land
Lightning strikes the great tree
The great tree falls,
eeeke, creeeeak, vrooooompht, budoumpht, budoumpht, budoumpht
budoumpht
One branch
One branch remains standing free of the water
The bits of the old world gather around the branch
Two figures climb down to this new land
Lith and Lithrasia
New life begins, cradled in their arms
The power of the old gods rises from the sea
The light of life and hope
We raise up our arms in wonder and say, “aaaaaaah”
Njord; the god of the sea
He leads us
Guides us
Stare out to sea with him
For under the sea is a terrible goddess
Ran! She is wicked and twisted
She swings her net and catches sailors “aaaaaaaargh”
They wander her home forever
“I am cccccold.” – “I miss my familyyyyy”
“I wish I hadn’t drowneded”
“Hahahahaha” Ran laughs and claps
That is how sick she is
Njord is good; 
he guides us
This is his home
Njardarheimr
He stands now by the sea
Bless him with mjord and ol
Gudvangen! Njardarheimr!
Although I wasn’t yet strong enough to face being at Gudvangen this year I was thrilled to be asked by stand-in host Annabelle to allow her to continue my tradition of multi-national stories. So each of the scripts I have published here has been performed in my honour by Annabelle with a gang of pals such as Karin in many languages and dialects simultaneously.
‘How to’ guide:
If you are working with children they can repeat each line altogether after you and act it out; remember, many of the stories from the mythology are quite gruesome.
The multi-national story; you need people who speak different languages (and English) you can also encourage different dialects for a bit more fun. You say each of the lines and one at a time they saying along the row in their own language. It works wonderfully well, it works far better than it should! Prepare to have great fun.
I look forward to be being welcomed back into the fold at Gudvangen next year (or even sooner).
Love
Adrian
OldMan Comics – Cancer Care Capers
Lovely to revisit these tales I can hear you telling them so happy your stories being carried on in your honour X anna
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