1. I was brought up right next to the railways lines, with a brick pond (a brick pond?) at one side and a slaughter house at the other.

2. People shout Beautiful Lady when they walk past me.

3. I have given many thousands of injections.

4. I have three kidneys,

5. and three kidney stones.

6. I had a friend who worked undercover for the MI5.

7. My favourite movie is Bandits. Did you know?

8. I saved thousands of people from slavery – this is not a joke.

9. My first job was in catering.

10. I have no phobias

11. I am guest speaker for the Oddfellows

12. I always wanted to be an inventor.

13. I have a spirit guide called Alpha.

14. I am a dreamer. You knew that.

15. I got my sense of exaggeration from my mother.

16. When I was born no one would come near me until I had been taken into a church.

17. I want to stage the original Dad’s Army scripts.

18. I love using stickers.

19. I think I have just worked out what Downtown means.

20. I have thousands of ornaments and they all have personalities and a life story.

21. I stole all my ghost stories from my mother.

22. I used to be an entertainments officer 

23. I have a ghost cat who follows me and another which hangs around in the haunted pet shop.

24. I have wonderful children.

25. I say ‘Crikey’ far too often

Go write a list