Goddess of Water – A freestyle interpretation of the Finnish Creation Tale

Goddess of Water – A freestyle interpretation of the Finnish Creation Tale




Alvis the Troll – A story which had holes and is now repaired

Alvis the Troll – A story which had holes and is now repaired



alvis cropped





Eddas in a Nutshell – For performance at the Gudvangen Summer Market 2019

Eddas in a Nutshell – For performance at the Gudvangen Summer Market 2019


There is a ‘How To’ guide at the foot but basically we will be performing these in many languages.


bright boyThe god of light and beauty

Balder was beautiful

Watch the twist of mistletoe fly through the air


Balder is dead – dead

Screaming silently forever

Lady Hel Herself holds him… Hahahahahaha

Unless everyone cries

Everyone cries

Except one giantess… Hahahahahaha

Really it is Loki… Hahahahahaha

Balder stays dead

What ever happened to happy endings!




mimirThe pool of wisdom is guarded

But Mimir the guardian is just a head

Kept alive by magical herbs nudge nudge wink wink

“I can see you. Who are you?”

It is the big boss god of all the Viking gods

He who sometimes has an echo

Odin – No hang on I’ve said his name wrong

(Everybody all together 123) Ooooooooodin (Hand to ear)

He will drink from the pool of wisdom

(Mumbled) “No hang on, you have to pay!”

“What do I have to pay?”

(Mumbled) You have to poke out one of your eyeseye

So Odin poked out one of his eyes

We are about to drink from the pool of wisdom

Join us

Some of you clearly need it

(Everybody all together 123)




Angraboda had a babybaby wolf

It was a gnashing roaring monstrous beast

Hear Fenrir the wolf…

Go near him and he will bite off your head

He rips off handsbig roar

Trick him and he howls

Dark elves fashion silken fetters

Trapped; he growls till Ragnarok

At last he bursts free

He is massive

His jaws reach the skywolf sky

Fenrir swallows Odin (gulp)

Odin kills as he dies

Fenrir dies in agony



Thor’s hammer is heavymjollmir

See we throwsaturn

Watch Mjolnir fly wuvwuvwuvwuvwuv

It hits (Bumf)

It comes back

We kill giants ‘Aaaaaaargh’

Trolls and troll-wivestroll

trollwifetrpll faceWolf-children in the Iron Woodwolfchild

Giant serpents

Yet this is the hammer which blesses the baby

Inspires the bride

Nourishes your yearnings

We throw it now at you loins

Wooohooo Haha Yayhey



ravensYou humans had better look out

The ravens are watching

See they fly high

They can tell if you are naughty

They peep into your chamber

The ravens know what you are thinking

Oh yes

Hugin and Munin

Thought and memory

They fly out from the shoulders of Odinodin

Oooooops I’ve said his name wrong – everybody – Ooooooodin

They return to tell him all about you! (Point)

This is what they say about you…

Caw caw caw




Winter upon winter upon freezing winter

Everyone goes madroar

Let’s get physicalbed

Lightning strikes

Thunder rolls

Roosters call – listen to the cock crow

Anger overcomes us

Gods go to war

Monsters risebreath

Fire, weapons and poison

Cry out in fear as you die

Wolves howl

Hel screamshel

Loki laughs

We are dead dead dead dead dead

The end

No wait

See, the sun is risingsun




Here are the previous ones…



‘How to’ guide:

If you are working with children they can repeat each line altogether after you and act it out; remember, many of the stories from the mythology are quite gruesome.

The multi-national story; you need people who speak different languages (and English) you can also encourage different dialects for a bit more fun. You say each of the lines and one at a time they saying along the row in their own language. It works wonderfully well, it works far better than it should! Prepare to have great fun.

OldMan Comics – Cancer Care Capers


The Truth About J R R Tolkien

The Truth About J R R Tolkien

mr & mrs in bw

If you are a collector of LotRs material I may be about to cause you some disappointment, your collection may be less valuable; some of you may get the feeling we are laughing at you a little.

I cannot recall the name of the person who revealed this shocking news but I swear it is true. A friend Christine used to pass on her magazine to me – Oldie magazine! It was a real good read; lots of different articles from fascinating people.

There was a regular feature by a different person each month: My moment of fame. It was one of these articles to which I refer. As a young man the writer had worked for Tolkien’s publisher and as part of his work had cause to visit him at home. Now this article was twenty years ago and the author was getting on back then, so I doubt I could track him down but I remember well what he had to say.

They had published the thing in three parts as you know. It was such a weighty tome compared to The Hobbit that I don’t think they thought it would sell as a huge book, and maybe it wouldn’t have. The three parts were all a huge success, so it was decided to bring it out as one book. That’s all history.

Our writer of the article, lets give him a name, how about Timothy? Timothy was given the job of loading the first thousand copies of the all in one edition into his car and driving to go see J R R.

Signed copies are now worth well in excess of a thousand pounds.

Timothy was welcomed with open arms. He was invited in and offered a drink. “Shouldn’t I carry in the books for you to sign?” Timothy was reassured that there was plenty of time and that they should have a brandy. They proceeded to empty the bottle. Then Tolkien says, “Let’s go for a drink.”

The leapt in the car and hurtled off to a country pub. On the way they came to a cross roads and had to cross a busy road. Tolkien drove straight at it without slowing or looking. As they cross to the other side he turned and said, “I find if you drive straight at them they scatter like skittles.

After a few hour downing pints in the pub they got back in the car and Tolkien drove them back to his house.

Timothy suggested he had better get the books in from his car. “Don’t worry,” said Tolkien, “they are all signed and back in your car”. His wife had signed them all while they were out.