Yo for there is a rule of Jul – and it must be obeyed
Henceforth what yee shall do, from yesterday the shortest day: the solstice until the morning of the first day of the new year you must by lore, replace milk in any drink you have with a large Baileys.
Look at this picture! Look at the poster the Lego shop have put in the window!
Aaaaaaaaargh! No let me try and express myself more clearly, aaaaaaaaargh. Its not right, its not right, its not right, it should be,,,, aaaaaaaaargh! It is just wrong. You fall off the edge. Read it aloud. Try it. You fall off the edge.
Pick and mix Lego bricks. Pick and mix Lego bricks. Pick and mix Lego bricks! I will say it one more time and then I might feel better. I might feel the world is OK. Pick and mix Lego bricks.
Pick and mix Lego Bricks!
A Fortean moment, as a fan of Charles Fort I like to include a Fortean incident of some kind whenever I can IE a phenomena; this time it is a cryptozoology experience.
A weird creature. Not a Big Foot. Not a Tazmanian Devil. Not a mer-creature. And not, sadly, a black panther.
I nearly fulfilled my bucket list dream however. I might have seen a white one!?
As a storyteller and host of story shares I have heard quite a few accounts of black panthers in Britain. Several of them quite convincing too. I know I am convinced and it is a long-held wish to see such a sight.
It looks like I have got it wrong though, perhaps my readers can help identify the thing I saw.
I was watching the scenery go by as on a train near Malton. I had just thought to myself that in this bad weather I had not seen much wildlife. Then I thought, ah well, at least there is a dog walking along the riverbank.
But no, it wasn’t a dog.
It was bigger than an alsation but lower to the ground, about the girth of a small sheep. Its white legs were short and it seemed to swing its hips like a cat. the low hanging tail swayed and was wide as if it had been blow-dried, I think it curled up at the end.
My next thought was, ‘Polecat,’ but the size made me wonder, as did the cat-like walk.
It was probably less than ten seconds, but the movement, the size and the shape have stayed with me.
I have seen a white panther! (perhaps)
I dreamed this, so I created it, I hope it is funny and interesting, and doesn’t make too many people cross 🙂
And look at this!
No way. I am not using the bin! I left. I will go and wee somewhere else!
Unbag Bum Your Friend
Unbag bum your friend – Please. So many of you do not, and you should. So often you see a woman walking along with a handbag over her shoulder and her skirt has ridden up under the bag. (This usually only happens to the one cheek.)
There she is walking down the street showing half her knicker and there by her side is her friend, her friend who is not saying a thing!
This must change. Remember. Whenever this occurs Unbag Bum You Friend. A few quiet words will do the trick.
And don’t even get me started on people on busses!
Actual Fact: There are almost 11,000 different known species of birds on this planet but only half of them actually lay eggs.
Genuine Newspaper Headline: (Brighton Argos – August 2013) Council calls in counsellors to counsel councillors
Less True Headline: SUICIDAL TWIN KILLS SISTER BY MISTAKE.
Next Issue: Something more Christmassy
I might tell you about the gay guy thrown off the plane (it is actually a quite heartening story) and other travelling companions I have encountered.
A wonderful site covering all aspects of life as a present day Viking and a beautiful glimpse into the past. Here is a post from last year covering the Viking festivities of long ago. A fascinating read…
But no – I will add more – let’s make it a bit more Christmassy…..
Here’s a gift I was sent by Carol MacAllister (the writer based in Puerto Rico)
And here is my Christmas thought…
Here are a couple of my Christmas cards I received…
And if you think my cards are newsworthy, wait till you see my presents!
All wonderful, but there were highlights; like these from my daughter.
My daughter knows I love ice in everything, and she also knows I love to have a big bag of it in the freezer. So, why buy me ice trays? She has thought about how much I travel. So these are portable ice trays. They are for me to bring to you, so I can set up to have ice wherever I go. Get ready for a visit!
Now I know I am moving well away from being internationally newsworthy when I share the personal experience of a picture of one of my grand kids but it is Christmas…
No wait, that is newsworthy, it is international, it is humanity, it is us, it is universal.
But there is more….
My sister. Ginny. what did she get me?
A Christmas hamper. A Bunty for girls pink ribboned Christmas hamper!
Just look at this…
It is the perfect present.
I confessed to her recently that I always used to wait till she had finished with it and pinch it to read myself. I enjoyed it more than my comic; Valiant.
(Besides, look at the great sweets)
What was my favourite bit. I confessed that too. The dolly cut outs. I always used to make them.
More on those later. But we havent even got to the best present yet….
The best present.
It was stolen from me.
It was a wonderful present.
I only nipped upstairs for a wee, and Gramey had been instructed to make two more Martinis (with Olive, Walnut, Ice and Rocket).
Look what I found when I returned…
He did what! He Did What!
But what happened then…
No, no, no, Gramey you cannot finish it like that!
Gramey! don’t ever get a job as a storyteller. Ever.
I must go now. Chloe found me loads more Bunty dolly cut outs to print off. so I am going to spend the rest of the holiday doing those…