Viking Saga in a Nutshell – As performed at Gudvangen Viking Market 2017

Viking Saga in a Nutshell – As performed at Gudvangen Viking Market 2017

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See ‘how to’ at the bottom for ways to turn these shortened sagas into performances

Sigurd the Warrior038 sig sword up

The warrior thrust his sword – into his scabbard034 sig sword

Mounted his mighty horse – and rode through the night035 sig horse

And the next day009 rode all night

And the next night008 ride all night

Ahead was an enormous mountain036 mountains

In the mountain was a huge cave037 cave

He leapt from his horse – and strode in038 sig sword up

Up a long high tunnel084 up tunl

Towards an enormous cave087 to enor cave

In the cave was an enormous heap of gold010 pile of gold

Upon the gold was an enormous dragon007 dragon on pile

“Roar”039 dragon

He crouched in fear, “I cannot kill this thing!”089 crouch fear.jpg

Two birds landed on his shoulders and whispered,013 two raven

“Dig a hole” “What with?”090 dig what.jpg

“Dig with your sword.” “Why?”092 with sword.jpg

“Just dig, dig, and leap in!”094 leap in.jpg

The great monster awakes039 dragon

Sigurd the warrior crouches down with his sword012 wait in hole

The monstrous dragon flies out through the tunnel095 d flies out.jpg

Sigurd stabs, stabs, urg, hu, arg, p,dumph096 s stabs

The dragon bites, RRRRaphnth!011 dragon head

Sigurd slices, “Hahahahahahaha!”097 haha 01.jpg

“Hahahahahahaha!”098 haha 02

 

 

Sigurd Awakens Brinhild

Sigurd the warrior raised his sword034 sig sword

He sliced right through the dragon’s neck025 neck slice

And from its claw he took the cursed gold ring026 ring

“I will go and seek my fortune”099 seeks.jpg

“Hang on, I already have a fortune”010 pile of gold

He filled his saddlebags with dragon’s gold028 sadlebag

He rode away on his horse which was afraid of nothing – nothing030 sig rides

Nothing076 man horse 01 flipped

Forests, swamps, mountains029 terrain types

Upon a far mountain is a tall tower0100 on mount.jpg

Surrounded by flames0101 in flames.jpg

The horse leaps0102 leaps.jpg

Through the air024 sig leaps

Through the flames031 sig through flame

Sigurd dismounts inside the tower0103 dismounts.jpg

Laid asleep upon a stone bed is…0104 asleep.jpg

The most beautiful woman he has ever seen0105 most beaut.jpg

She was unclothed027 sleeps

He took her in his arms0106 in arms

He kissed her0107 kiss.jpg

She awoke, “I love you”0108 awake

“I love you too – will you marry me?”0109 will you.jpg

He put the ring upon her finger0110 ring on

The cursed ring026 ring

That is just the beginning of a story – where0111 beginning of.jpg

Everybody dies0112 ev dies 01.jpg

 

For the Love of Freyja – and the Walls of Asgard

The big boss god of all the Viking gods?054 god war flipped

OOOOOOOOOOOdin047 odin 01

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOdin048 odin 01 flipped

His city was in ruins049 asgard

Ruins050 asgard flipped

Along came a handsome stranger044 h stranger

“I will build the walls of your city for you”045 h stranger flipped

“And all I want in return is…”078 hs 02

“The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as my wife oooooo”0114 str the sun.jpg

“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as my wife oooooo”0120 sun 04.jpg

Odin said, “You want what!”069 odin 02 flipped

“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as my wife oooooo”0115 ev the sun group 01.jpg

That is a lot, I will ask Loki070 odin loki heads

“What does he want paying?”057 loki 01

“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as his wife oooooo”055 odin and loki 01

“Only if he can get it done in less than half a year”059 half a year

Odin told the stranger…068 odin 02

“But will you still pay me “Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as my wife oooooo”0116 sun 01.jpg

“And can my horse help?”046 hs and horse

“Hahaha what good is a horse? It was a magical horse060 horse mountain 01

It flew down and picked up a mountain061 horse mountain fly

The stranger used it as a brick065 hs brick 01

It flew down and picked up a mountain062 horse mountain fly flipped

The stranger used it you get the idea066 horse to hs brick

He will get it down in time and then we will have to pay him067 hs brick to wall

“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as his wife oooooo”0118 sun 02

Loki turned into a beautiful lady horse brrrrrrr071 loki turns horse072 lady horse 01

The stallion followed her075 man horse 01074 lady horse 02

Into the magical woods077 into magic wood

Now the stranger wouldn’t get the job done in time and he wouldn’t get paid…078 hs 02.jpg

“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as his wife oooooo”0119 sun 03

He threw off his handsome disguise and became the rock giant he really was079 off to biff

He went to biff Odin0121 goes to biff.jpg

But Odin biffed him080 odin to biff

He biffed him so hard he flew all the way back to the land of the giants081 biffs giant

The walls were nearly finished and Odin didn’t have to pay…0122 nearly wall.jpg

“Everybody all at once” “The sun, the moon and the beautiful lady Freyja as his wife oooooo”0123 ev group flipped.jpg

 

Loki

The god of mischief058 loki 01 flipped

Trickery0124 trickery.jpg

Cruelty0125 cruelty

“When the goddess awakes see how she screams”0126 she screams.jpg

Loki laughs “hehehehe”0127 l laughs 01.jpg

“Hehehehehe”0129 l laughs 02.jpg

He is also a shape changer god0130 shape change.jpg

(say to the cast,) “Say the names of four random creatures or things”0131 creatures.jpg

The gods had had enough of him056 odin and loki 01 flipped

They threw away his children0132 throw ch

The giant snake they threw into the sea, “Roar, sploosh”0133 throw snake 01.jpg0134 throw snake 02.jpg

The monster wolf into the ground “hoooooowl”0135 wolf in

His putrid, rotten daughter down to the underworld016 hel falls

Scream!014 hel

Burning poison was dripped on Loki’s face0136 poison face.jpg

“All scream together!”0137 all scream.jpg

“See my daughter fly her ship of the dead”0138 her ship

“And we will kill you all!”0139 kill all.jpg

“Hahahahahaha” –0142 haha 01 “Haha”0143 haha 02.jpg

That is the end of Loki’s story, in which…0140 l dies

[Say to the cast] (“All say together, “Everybody dies” on the count of three.) 1 2 3 “Everybody dies!”0141 ev dies

 

 

Ragnarok

The end of the world, where everybody dies0151 end of world

Gods, Monsters, wolves and slaves0152 gods monsters etc

Everyone fights together until they die015 all fight

Did we mention everybody dies?0153 dd we ment

Because they do0154 cos do

The sea rises up and swallows the land033 yg wave

Lightning strikes the great tree032 yg lightning.jpg

The great tree falls,017 yg falls

eeeke, creeeeak, vrooooompht, budoumpht, budoumpht, budoumpht0155 eek.jpg

budoumpht0156 bdumpht

One branch019 yg twig

One branch remains standing free of the water019 yg twig

The bits of the old world gather around the branch018 yg

Two figures climb down to this new land020 lithr babe

Lith and Lithrasia0150 l and l

New life begins, cradled in their arms021 babe

The power of the old gods rises from the sea0157 old gods.jpg

The light of life and hope023 yg old gods.jpg

We raise up our arms in wonder and say, “aaaaaaah”022 l and l arms

 

 

Njord; the god of the sea

He leads us0158 he leads.jpg

Guides us0159 guides.jpg

Stare out to sea with him0160 stare

For under the sea is a terrible goddess0161 under is terrible g.jpg

Ran! She is wicked and twisted0162 twisted.jpg

She swings her net and catches sailors “aaaaaaaargh”0163 swings

They wander her home forever0164 wander.jpg

“I am cccccold.” – “I miss my familyyyyy”0165 ccold

“I wish I hadn’t drowneded”0166 drownded.jpg

“Hahahahaha” Ran laughs and claps0167 claps.jpg

That is how sick she is0168 sick.jpg

Njord is good; 0169 good.jpghe guides us0170 guides.jpg

This is his home0171 home.jpg

Njardarheimr0172 njard.jpg

He stands now by the sea0173 by sea.jpg

Bless him with mjord and ol0174 ol.jpg

Gudvangen! Njardarheimr!0175 gud

 

Although I wasn’t yet strong enough to face being at Gudvangen this year I was thrilled to be asked by stand-in host Annabelle to allow her to continue my tradition of multi-national stories. So each of the scripts I have published here has been performed in my honour by Annabelle with a gang of pals such as Karin in many languages and dialects simultaneously.

‘How to’ guide:

If you are working with children they can repeat each line altogether after you and act it out; remember, many of the stories from the mythology are quite gruesome.

The multi-national story; you need people who speak different languages (and English) you can also encourage different dialects for a bit more fun. You say each of the lines and one at a time they saying along the row in their own language. It works wonderfully well, it works far better than it should! Prepare to have great fun.

I look forward to be being welcomed back into the fold at Gudvangen next year (or even sooner).

Love

Adrian

OldMan Comics – Cancer Care Capers

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The Door – Skaldic Blog No 14

doorThe Door

Who shall step inside to reside

For many will follow

Visitors all

Yet who is the one

To step through this door

Fierce fighter – Rights protector

Humour-bringer – Party-flinger

One young and one old together

Historian – Asatruan – Christian

Stargazer – Future-dreamer

Wish-bringer – Tomorrow–shaper

Who shall step through now

To allow and condone

Assessed, be enthroned

There is one  man

Who is all things to all of them

It is he,

who shall step through

Strong hunter; a future

See they build a wild door

A chieftain’s portal to another place

The place of visions dreamed

His gathered place for all of you

To be yourself,

Beyond the door

 

 

Adrian Spendlow

Recent blogs include from the Greek Myths, Athene and Pan.

Ales and Tales around York pubs.

and more as the Skald to the Chieftain inspired by Georg and Gudvangen.

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The Viking Life -This 21 chapter on-line book is my Autobiography

The Viking Life -This 21 chapter on-line book is my Autobiography

To read the first chapter simply click ‘Viking Life’.

viking-life-tab

At the top of each page you will see ‘Next in Current Series’. Just go back up to that and click to go to the next chapter each time.

(next)

Adrian Spendlow

Meanwhile I will get on with the follow up.

Great Gig last night – Union Mash Up, Hull

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Great Gig last night – Union Mash Up, Hullmoody umu.jpg

Yes it was a great gig, and it was very important to me. I wouldn’t have got there if it wasn’t for Gramey of Slim Knows Time, (That’s us below pictured with Ana Maus), he was nearly dying from a virus, but he picked me up and dragged me there. At my insistence of course. I just had to be there. I had my first chemotherapy the day before and I was supposed to be totally washed out and unable to get out. I was in a terrible state, but yes, I had to be there.

Gra hadn’t been able to lift his guitar the day before and still was unable to turn his head (which made for an interesting drive) but he got me there and even managed to play for a short set as Slim Knows Time in the middle of the show.

We finished the night with a few at the end plus an amazing encore set when half the audience had gone. A drummer friend had been unable to come due to possible malaria, so gra and ana stepped in at the end to do some of the pieces I had planned with her. Notably my praise poem which includes all the Norse Goddesses and which was described as very moving and unlifting by a lady wiping tears from her cheek. We also did a bit of Elliot, Whitman, WCW, Kenneth Koch and a few of mine all in a beat poetry style.

A little thing like a bit of chemo can’t stop me doing the things I love to do. And this was the first gig of a whole new series I have planned. The beginning of a dream.

For some strange reason I am calling it the Provinces Tour. I started in the vibrant city of Kingston Upon Hull  the City of Culture 2017, and I plan to do parts of the tour in St Andrews, Edinburgh, Bergen and London; so it is hardly the provinces – but the idea has been in my mind for a long time.

The idea being that I do an evening of storytelling in cosy venues where I can just do my own thing; fitting in exactly what I fancy at the time I am aiming to include Scarborough (of Soldiers, Sailors and things a bit fishy), Malton (Steam days, Vikings and a bit about Beer) and little villages and towns along the way

For this one I brought a story back to folklore from the work of Chaucer, I did the thousand plus year old Tora in the Tower, mixed with modern mystery, and Hobb tales (among others).

I am starting to look at where to go next (there were already a couple of interesting ideas for returning to Hull (including a return visit to the smashing Union Mash Up.

Yes I am going to keep doing the things I love. My good friend Mary said I should blog about my health issues. and it does seem to fit in with telling you my plans.

I met my maker only about eight weeks ago now. In my mind I decided where I was going and what I needed to do before I went. Things change fast though, and from down there was a way up. Life looks horrid, but for me this is a horrid road which leads to being better.

It will be a year long journey of chemo and a rather nasty op so I am going to be really struggling over this year. But I did it, I went out there and dragged my self in and people ended up say what amazing energy I have. So I can do the things I love.

I am not going to be working totally full time. Just the things I love and that are important. So it looks like I am moving, I wont be able to keep up with the rent and am moving for recooperation. This will be though in such a way that I can still do my main things.

This will of course include blogging and selling online audio books and Spendlow TV!

It will also mean I shall carry on the drama work with We Are Theatre and some brilliant community projects as team leader (to date in, Bridlington, York and Hull). There is no way I can not go to Norway, in particular as Skald to my blood Brother in the Viking Town of Gudvangen (among other places), I am also hoping to be asked to return to the Mythology Festival in Jelling, Denmark and of course the very exciting tour of the rock opera Gods Bless Ya!!! with my amazing Norns Sigrun and Alda.

My next excitement is Rollercoastival in February as the Pied Piper of Scarborough taking you to a magical place.

There will also be a few lovely festivals and stone circle stories plus a few sessions as Celebrant.

So quite a bit really 🙂

Wishing Health and Love and Light

slim-at-umu

Oh yes, and Ruthy says I am going to be like a lat!

Update:

I am also planning to follow a couple more of your suggestions Ruthy. One is a new style to go with the skinny look – I am planning to go Mod with brogues an’ everyfink.

There is the brand new short hair cut (long hair falling out was a bit upsetting). But in no time that will be all gone and I will follow the other piece of advice and have a head tattoo.

O course the hair will all grow back, but,,,,

They tell me it grows back different!!!!!

I am putting in a request to the gods for a Ginger Afro!

A word of love to others, I am told I will be well again, and I know I will be touring and performing far and wide as 2017 progresses forward into health.

This is a time to think of others though. Many friends and others I have talked to are not so lucky to be given such a promise. I send love and respect, for everywhere where people are suffering with cancer I hear a balanced loving positive approach. I have so much respect for you all and send healing love. x

 

 

Opening Ceremony 2016 Viking Valley, Gudvangen, Norway; Live!

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Opening Ceremony 2016 Viking Valley, Gudvangen, Norwaytitle box squashed

Welcome, welcome, you are all welcome. So good to see you all gathered here for the opening ceremony of this the 14th Viking Market here in Gudvangen Viking Valley.parade 02

You are safe here, welcome; you can relax and enjoy yourself, even though you will be spending the day among huge, hairy, heavily armed Vikings.stage combo.jpg

barrelWe are glad to have you here eating our food, drinking our mead, looking at our stalls.

stall 02

oski small

Yes welcome, so relax you will be safe here – it is when we visit you that you need to worry.

“And we won’t be emailing, there will be no polite email asking if it is OK to visit. We will suddenly be there but you will know straight away. You will be well aware we are among you.”

poster norge

This is a very special place; there is something magical about this valley. Everyone says so. You begin to feel the effect of being here straight away.

These Vikings here, as soon as they step off the ship they calm down, which is unusual I assure you. All the time they are here they are friendly, easy-going and peaceful – well most of the time.

me solo 02Look at me. When I am at home I am a wild, dangerous, rampaging mad thing.

“Me too.”georg

You will enjoy yourselves! Do you hear what I say, and can you see the shine of sharpness along the edge of my axe. You will enjoy yourselves!axe.jpg

Besides, we have many things on our stalls which we want you to buy. We have been to many lands and learnt many skills; old, well-tried, traditional skills. potWe will enjoy showing you; try not to be nervous when you generously show your appreciation.

Yes, we have sailed to many nations. ship headWe have landed on a wide range of shores, seen people of many types – and robbed them, traded with them, I mean traded with them, yes, traded.

“Can we ask where you are all from?”

“Spain.” “Poland.” “Canada.” “Ireland.”

“Ah, those are the places we robbed.”

That’s where we got all these things we are selling.

“Hey, stall holders, lower your prices.”stall 01

Yes visitors we will sell your things back to you quite cheaply.

“And you will be safe here. Adrian remind them how welcome they will be, and how safe.”

Yes, yes, safe, yes. We have sworn an oath, an oath. We wanted to reassure you so we oathed an oath, and when a Viking makes an oath they make an oath and the oath that they oath is an unbreakable oath which we have oathed; an oath is an oath is an oath. Let it be known that we have oathed.me solo.jpg

“What is an oath?”

A promise; and a promise is a promise and…

“Don’t start that again.”story rc 07 j pic

No, right, of course, but we did; there is a ritual and a belief. To make that oath the first thing you have to do is – spit in a barrel.barrel

“Spit?”

Well we skipped that bit.

“Yes well we are selling lemonade and mead to you. So we thought it best not to spit in the barrels. Or talk about it even…”

No sorry. No spitting. The barrels are fine!

A promise is a promise though, and it has to be kept. We worry about where we will go when we die.

serpent tower.jpgOath-breakers have to walk through a river of gushing ice. This ice is formed into axes, spears and knives – then, you step out – to be kept in a tower made of living serpents. Bitten and sprayed with burning poison for ever and ever and ever and ever.

Or until Ragnarok; the end of the world.

“So we keep our promises; enjoy.”

If, you enjoy hearing of the old mythos – watch out for the ravens…

ravensA shadow will flicker over you. As you look up, the second raven will fly in from the world waters, by you see the third raven it will be too late. There it will be upon the mast of an incoming ship; a ship so terrible you will quake at the sight of it. The Vikings are coming, and they are no ordinary Vikings. These are Njardar. Njardar Vikingslag.warriors

We are coming to you and charging onto your land. Hear the roar. See the gleam. A huge army of huge warriors are upon you. These are the best (the Mayor of Aurland himself said that we were second in exports and visitors and soon to become first, so it must be true). It is like the sky itself is filled, and they wait, with weapons high, only for a command to charge. Step forward the chieftain; Olafr Reydarsson. When he speaks we listen. He is big! Very big!

bigWell, his beard is big anyway. He will give the command; the word and we will all, roaring, act upon that word.

The word is…

“Welcome; you are all welcome to come and visit us in Gudvangen. Everyone is welcome, except those who do not make others welcome. Come visit.”

And so they do, in their thousands, from all over the world.tents drawing

We have had a battle though, a long, hard fought battle – a battle to build.

As you step though those gates into the fourteenth Viking Gathering here at Gudvangen you step back into the past. Now. The long battle is over. harbour.jpgNow. As you step through these gates you are stepping into our future.

By the fifteenth Viking Gathering there will be a Viking Town. It is a two year project with the first row of Viking houses ready by May – I have put my name down for one of these already.hut

Here is the first of the timber being delivered now…timber

You will be able to take part in the Glima wrestling…glimawrestling

With hardly any risk to yourself….dead

Hear Galda upon the holy hill…galda.jpg

Learn leathers skills with Hamish, or buy his bags from Anabelle…leather.jpg

lady shaga.jpgVisit Lady Chaga…

Be warned; slavers are in the area and you are at risk…slaver.jpg

And it is no use complaining, we know that now. male slave one.jpg

But no, no, no, do not worry, as we have promised, you are completely safe here, well, until six o’clock. Once the market closes at six all promises are off!

“Oaths”

Don’t spit when you speak!

Oaths. Off.

Vikings will become Vikings again.

group 02You will be greatly at risk – unless you buy a tunic and a pair of boots and stay here.

Then you will be welcome.

“Welcome.”

Before we actually open the market and get on with selling you your treasures back, there is one rather tricky thing which must be dealt with.

“Don’t tell them Adrian.”

No, we must.

“There is a rumour.”

A terrible rumour.kurs group

“It has been whispered over and over as people come through the gate.”

We are now going to deal with that rumour.

“People have been saying that they have heard that a group of tourists with plastic wrist bands came here to visit and were never seen again.”

Never.

“Never.”

Never

“It is true!”

Never seen again!

They bought Viking outfits and became part of this marvellous experience.mal.jpg

“Now we must warn you.”

This may happen to you.

story one mp 01a.jpg“This valley is such a wonderful, unique place that once you have visited you never wish to leave. Many choose to stay and be here forever.”

group 01

This we must warn you of.

“But there is a greater risk, a great and terrible sadness and yearning which may come upon.”

Yes.

“If you do choose to leave here you will regret it forever.”me solo flipped.jpg

You will always feel that you are not where you belong and will feel terribly, terribly sad that you did not choose to stay.

guilty coloured.jpg

“Terribly, terribly sad.”

“Now, finally, we welcome you with one piece of explanation about what you might expect here, here is the secret – it is all about love.”elf table

“We will be opening the market again tomorrow.”opening flipped

And this worries me greatly.

“I will be wearing my helmet. It was a wonderful gift to me and is an accurate reconstruction of a Viking age helmet.”helmet.jpg

And why does it have a figure of a boar on the top?

“This is to signify that I command a team of specialist warriors.”

What kind of warriors?

“Berserkers.”

And you are wearing it tomorrow? This worries me greatly. I have pledged to always stand by your side. To dress appropriately and be there in the way that you need me whatever you ask of me. What does a Berserker wear?

“A small fur collar.”

And that’s it!

“Yes.”

Right I will have to get my outfit ready then.

“It worries me as well, I don’t think I will be standing next to you tomorrow.”

(“And if you blog about it tomorrow Adrian, do not do a drawing.”)fight

Thinking about it, I will make a great berserker. If you put all the fighters and all the wrestlers in the field ready I will be able to beat the lot of them, I will clear the field.

If I come screaming across to them wearing nothing but my berserker outfit they will scatter. I will see off the lot of them.

They will run.berserker me

“So will I!” “Enjoy yourselves today, because tomorrow is berserker day.”

We now declare the Viking Market open!opening

“This is a marvellous experience, with Vikings and visitors from all around the world, none of the differences you might notice elsewhere matter at all here, all beliefs, all life styles are for elsewhere; here everyone gets along and shares the wonder which is Gudvangen.”

So it is spoken by Olafr (Georg) and this is the world.

parade 03.jpgnaming

Naming Ceremony photos and footage

Aurland Photography

2015 Opening Speech (more moving)

Skaldic Pieces

Future Skaldic Plans

To Become a King

Nerd in Norway; A Spotters Guide – It is actually a report on my performances at Gudvangen Viking Valley, Norway.

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Nerd in Norway; A Spotters Guide – It is actually a report on my performances at Gudvangen Viking Valley, Norway.

sign 01I am looking at the stories I didn’t tell and wishing I had fitted them in. But there are other times of course and I am thankful of the times, the many times, I was able to tick a tale off the list.

Ticks, lists, statistics, I am getting into these. Nerdy I am. Becoming a spotter. A lister. A ‘tick-er-off-er-a’.

Long journeys listening to the sixties and memories.foxglove love

Looking out and listing waterfall world; shadow waterfalls, gentle waterfalls, rainbow waterfalls, multiple waterfalls, tiny waterfalls… I list and tick.

meThe times of tears might be listed soon. This is a place of many strong emotions – emotions amplified. Moving yes, but everything inside, everything discovered, everything listened to, everything experienced: amplified.

It might be the water. It is everywhere.

As I overheard, “They have water here,” says the tourist on the bus, “all kinds, rain and waterfalls and all kinds. It is like a great big island with sea all around it.”

Now – 61, 78, 30, 2000 (est.), 30, but more on these later, stay tuned. I bet you just can’t wait.

But at last you will get down to where you will read what this blog is actually about – make a second coffee.

whale spouts

A whale

I creature spotted – I cheat – I award points for imagination, molehills count (as definitive proof of the existence of a mole), as do beehives and woodworm holes. I play alone and only cheer internally. So that is alright then.

Interlude: A tourist at the hotel sat next to me has a sandwich, a baguette actually, she is eating it with a knife and fork – it is not going well. Wait, (this is my live-feed happening as I am writing), her husband is opposite, (they are old so I guess they are married), he has a suggestion, he is thinking she might do better by picking it up off the plate to eat, she is asking if he means with the hands, and he does, so she is trying it.

I hit sixty! Sixty different creatures. Yes. It included reindeer, firefly, alpaca, llama (duplication cheat), and I saw a thing climbing.

village

Not actually a photograph of Georg

I didn’t count the enormous statue of Georg, (hours away from Gudvangen and surveying a valley where thousands of deer can gather some mornings). That goes on a list with a Roman Villa, hundreds of pre-history pictograms, standing stones, Half-Dan the Blacks funeral mound, concrete bunkers, winged horned gods, actual horned helmets too (oh yes), rock falls, trees on rooves (I gave up at 178 of them), ‘Danger Falling Rocks’ signs – extremely rare here for some unknown reason which I will probably blog about at some point, large fish rings, organic vegetable gardens (sadly a rare occurrence apparently), drummer boys, huskies pulling a white van and sounding like geese, iced coffee to die for, Godt og Blandett Frukt Salad (a must have), salty liquorice fish, trees in rivers, quadrillion-bends, ‘Deer Crossing 0.2 kilometre to 1.3 kilometre’ signs (go figure), naked wrestlers (no she needs to be on a later list which is chiefly flesh-related, as do arm-slings), bear-hunting dogs, armed seven year olds (I will document this more fully I promise), M. Thatcher pictures thanking her for Soft Ic, Pagans, Asutra, twins (no there’s loads), sausage boutiques, and

(Sorry I fell off that list.)

Btw the lady did manage to get most of the baguette in.

Btw 02 if you are someone who puts ‘of’ when you mean ‘off’ I actually hate you, quite actively, vigorously. Just thought you might like to know.

Tourists who are between coach and ferry and stand without looking up at the host of waterfalls.

No stop, don’t even start that list. ‘Tourists’ can wait.

I could write a list of the times people have told me of fearie things – a long list

(Please note; fearie is the topic, the place, or an actual list, not a being or thing.)

of the number of times people have approached me and insisted upon the existence of such and their observation of same. Usually just after I have done a silly story and have danced and pranced.di happy

I know I am neither dancing or prancing in this picture, but I like it

They are very insistent.

I shall list this visit’s oddities.

There are several. Read on because you might be on this list.

The winged-thing will be listed last (damn I have just listed it). There was a drone. I have seen them before over Viking camps, once I saw one shot down by an archer, there were cheers. This one looked like one, but acted funny; shall we say impossibly.

I saw a brown blob. I am almost sorry it wasn’t black – then it would have been an ABB – Alien Black Blob. As mentioned often in Fortean Times magazine. They are officially what you get if you try and take a picture of an oddity. Always. Flying saucers, puma, yeti, troll, big foot, naked huldra; try it, you click, you look later – it’s a blob.

slender

Artists interpretation of something completely unrelated to this story

I cannot do other at this point than to instruct you to buy Fortean Times. If you are in the dark on this one search for Charles Fort; “Nonexistence of evidence is not evidence of nonexistence.” etc

My blob was brown, it was moving, it was far away, it was high up, it was climbing. I estimate bear-size.

Mine was above the Georg statue, Alan’s was above Goerg’s house. It was witnessed by many. I will not bother you with the photos of it, they have a distinct element of ABBness.

They watched it though. Crikey it was large. Gosh it was something other than is known. Wow are the hairs going up on our necks as we hear about it. It was tall as a hang-glider, slim as a snowboard, as quick as a skier, it disappeared as quick as a base-jumper. It is documented here, so it is true. There are photographs. It is true about Alien Black blobs too.

Calm down the hairs on your neck a little and read on.

There are wasps.small wasp

And this is the interlude where you get to listen to a story. A story. The thing I actually do. Yes, a story.

It involved Anders. He is cool. He is Viking. He talks steady and slow. We listen.

When I talk of the wasp I dance, I do voices, I comb my hair in a beautiful way, I get cross. I am wasp.

Anders simple says

“They are spirit.”

That is why he jumps. This is the only time his smile leaves. The only time the cool goes.

The deep dark growling drawl which is only just within the range of the human ear stays – so listen with your bones.

“They are spirit.”

big waspThis is why we should be frightened of them. This is why to be fearful of their sting. For they will sting. It is their intention. To sting.

The spirit which once was and now is wasp, is angry.

Imagine. If you will. To be of another realm. Where all is magical and – kind of – wispy. Then, you human being people stopped believing. Stopped sending all that belief in the magical to the realms around you. They dwindled. They faltered. They ceased. They died.

It is your fault.

The fairies died.

Spirit of fearie is part of this life and is subject to the same lore of living as us – reincarnation.

wasp changesThey reincarnated.

As wasps.

Can you imagine how cross they are.

Every single morning they wake up, the eyes are glazed as yours are, the brain is slow the same; thinking isn’t easy: “Oh a new day. Which frock shall I wear? I think I will choose a long flowing frock, and then I will comb my long flowing hair, add a few flowers. I will sing to myself blissfully as I skip toward the flowered meadows – and then I will  – dance!

Sh*t!

I am a wasp!

I am a bl**dy wasp!

No wonder they are angry.

Get ready to be stung.big wasp flipped

That may be the end of the story, but not of the list.

There is one more. I can see it. I can still see it. So can the man who told me. I didn’t see it. Neither did he. It is in our mind’s eye. It is about to enter yours. Alan went on the Viking ship. Down to where the fjord walls are tall and close. It is quiet down there. The skipper is quiet; a quiet man. As they flowed, so did his words. To a quiet crew. “Out there it was. By the side of the wall, and only just above the water. The dark thing with wings. I have sailed this way, and other ways, many times. I have never seen such a thing as this ever. It was slowly flying with large angled long slim wings; a suggestion of shape, a definite shape of wing. A timeless slow sense of flying. I don’t know what it was.”wingedI don’t know what it was.

61, 78, 30, 2000 (est.), 30.

Yes here it is. The time. The point of the blog.

I held a story circle each evening and sixty one people came and listened. Some of them popped in briefly, some came every time. Some of them said ‘awesome’ in a quiet voice. Some made tricky suggestions.

I felt young.

My main audience were 15 to 21. I am honoured to be listened to by such. For up to three hours at a time. I still see the faces.

From 61 to 78. I performed alongside others. Vikings flocked to take part in my stories and talks or to join our parade. 78 of them, yes, I worked with 78 co-performers. Some of them, I admit, are duplicates. When someone drummed and marched one day and then acted another day I count them twice. It is still a whole host of willing Vikings.

Each day my chieftain (Olafr Reydarsson, we call him Georg) and I led a group of musicians around the camp inviting everyone to join us. Lars Magnar of course was beside me. We stood upon the holy hill. Our rune-lore master, our Glima lord, our mythology study, our wise scholar of all of the once was, he stood among us, we called upon him, and he unleashed the ancient, the returned, the spiritual, powerful, Galda. That screaming call. It changes your understanding of what it is to be alive.galda

We welcomed, we warned. We stood upon the stage and we informed, we made fun, we celebrated, we shared, and a host of people from Anabel to T’or Eric filled the floor with their re-enacting. Mainly. We laughed.opening

We celebrated and laughed with the mayor, with the team who are building our Viking Town, with crafts people, with entertainers, with spiritual leaders, with the dead, with the children who crawled and climbed to be part of this.

And most of the tourists survived.

There were presentations on the new Viking town we are building.harbour

T’or Eric carried a dead body across (Daan) and Anabelle wowed the crowds with her product demonstrations. We even had a guest spot from Lady Shaga and a couple of guys carrying a plank. Vibeke and her team fought to the death and Kjell robbed them.

We even had a slave team run screaming through.

Every day we lined up and were multi-national. The pic below here shows most of the people involved, but one or two weren’t there that day. We had many languages and many accents, including, Scooohtish, posh, New York and Minnesota.multi

I spent thirty hours in performance. I estimate that two thousand people watched us and I probably spent about thirty hours planning it all.

That’s it.

No, hang on.

I am wrong. I am wrong about the 78. I forgot about the one I wasn’t at. As Holger had been in the news we thought it right to redress the balance and have him kidnapped as a slave. I put the word out through Karyn who whispered while she was braiding, and over thirty women turned up to clap him in chains and wrap him in a net. He didn’t fetch much though.

One more number to finish. As I walked back from the bar I counted 31 waterfalls within sight of the camp.party

And an enormous thank you to Angela and Georg for putting up with my trying ways and for making me feel so at home.garden

Where We Were – So Spoke the Skald 05

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Where We Were

Walk close to the past

For it brings you who you are

Gives you a place to live

A belonging; A sharing

We walk together with love

Authentically care

Paths chosen

ASAdrian in the Norwegian theatre hut cropped

….