Bits

I am fed up that everything I tile is collected by auto-chicken.

I realise now that my mistake was probably that I tried to type auto-check instead of auto-collect.

But it has been collected.

There is obviously a fault. At least with the auto-correct but possibly worse than that. So while we are stuck here I might as well carry on.

There’s the joke of the year from Edinburgh Fringe by Ken Cheng,  “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.”

Well, things were different before the changes.

A previous year Tim Vine won with “I sold my vacuum cleaner, well it was just gathering dust.”

My son in law Spee tells me that Norwegian ships have a bar code on the side so they can Scandinavian.

On to my new look with the curls.

Now that it has grown back the way it has I don’t remember what my hair was like before I had radiotherapy, but I am sure it didn’t make mature women giggle like girls.

One Direction, they went their separate ways.

Away from humour and on to poetry with this corker from Ralph Bear (thank you ever so)

For Adrian

Me pen and paper

Me sword in hand

Me march off to unknown lands

Me get me got

Godspeed I trot

Me pen and paper

Me sword in hand

                        Ralph Bear

Here’s my big lad who has hit the big time…

This popped up again recently, created by Olivia Jayne Newton. As a promotion for the first ever stage production I’ve been in.

And my dream:

I dreamed that in the olden days what people who had excess limbs did is they joned the navy. Navy surgeons are renowned for cutting off limbs so sooner or later it is bound to happen. Neville had three legs so he joined up and a couple of years later there was an incident and sure enough the surgeon sawed one of his legs off. So he was able to come home with two.

When Mervin, (who had five arms) saw him returning looking so well balanced he too decided to go away to the navy. Eight years he was there, then sure enough there was an incident and they sawed off one of his arms. Trouble was, they sawed off the right arm, which was the only one he had at that side and left the other four he had on the left side as they were.

There is a moral to this story, or at least there was a moral to it in the dream.

NASA announced lately that they had discovered a planet that could harbour life, but it couldn’t be guarenteed that there was intelligent life there; of course there is, who do they think built the harbour.

I blogged a collection of poetry recently.

On the 27th of October I shall be performing in Scarborough Art Gallery Hobb the Night Guard and the amazement of museums. Here is Hobb’s recent stories for the Fossil Festival.

Viking Comic Inc rereleases include Oski and the Amulet, The Hammer Flies and the Greek myth of Zeus and Typhon.

There’s my travelogue of Denmark.

Turning Points in Life’s Journey.

My multi-national performances in Gudvangen, Norway; Viking Sagas in a Nutshell.

An dof course my very popular Cancer Care Capers.

For any of you who haven’t heard, I was given the all clear last week.

Feedback on my Discworld Blog;

“And, oh my! what a joy to receive your narrative on and your utterly delightful drawings of the most marvellous place to be in in the entire Multiverse.  (Tho’ I can’t help thinking your portrait of C.M.O.T. Dibbler is just a little too flattering; “unsavoury”, after all, is not just a word that applies literally to his wares, it also applies metaphorically to his person.)” Julie Speedie

Discworld blog

And here is the last magazine type blog I did…

Do buy the guy

guy-link-board

 

 

 

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I might give a little bit of thanks too

history-tabviking-life-taboldman-tabviking comics inc tab.jpgpoetics tab.jpgrants tab.jpgchat tab.jpgspooky tab.jpggby-tabnewsnext

I might give a little bit of thanks too

(here is a little bit of text to fill the space when it is posted to Facebook so you cannot read my blog without clicking the link)

Given my own space to be

Even when I was ill and let everybody down

Even when I wandered lost around the long country roads in a fever

I now know where I am, but it took a while.

Now recovered I relax

Meanwhile if you want a detailed drawing of the underside of the upper bunk let me know

I can recall every detail

or perhaps the back of the loo door

moving on

moving swiftly on

how many of you readers can say you have been collected as soon as you were ready and taken to a woodland full of tents and fires and wonderful people

To spend time where everything is ok

Where you discover Viking Ris (Barley grains cooked to perfection) served with wild garlic and root vegetables like you have never experienced

Even the water from the earthenware jug was amazing

To be taken from there to the chieftains house

To be made welcome and allowed to be yourself in your own space and to be drawn in to be fed and shared with in this rambling timbered wonder of a place

On the way here I saw roaming marshlands, huge wading birds, faces in the rocks, llamas, Elk (I think, but something big moving on the mountainside – perhaps a bear), a roman villa, the grave mound of Half-Dan the Black and so much more.

I recovered in time, once here, to partake of a Viking banquet created by globaly renowned chefs and was honoured to be asked to perform for the press and the Vikings (although the picture of me in the papers was rather grossly dramatic).

I have eaten my favourite food; dark brown cheese with pear and honey.

Today I was taken through the mountain to the next world, where trains and ferries traverse, I wandered through an organic garden where seeds I sent are flourishing, I bought beans to sprout because you cannot get beansprouts anywhere here, I learned to tell the time, and to call others to dinner, and I climbed an ancient burial ground: I have walked sunwise around a stone-which-is-stood as others have done before for countless times.

I am in a world which is countless.

Be here.

Thought on Sleepless Nights

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Thought on Sleepless Nights

Model-making Done for the DAy

It can not be all that worrying about the things you have to do the next day that keeps you awake,

Because twenty minutes before you have to get up you suddenly feel really really sleepy.

I am Celebrating – three thousand views since I started blogging – here are some highlights

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I am Celebrating – three thousand views since I started blogging – here are some highlights

The wonderful wonderful experience of my Viking Comics Inc. first publication – The Hammer Fliespic 031b redone

Strange Jobs

I released my first singleam

cloud worldI previewed my Greek Myths CD

I was very pleased to see my pal Georg has started a blogEvening Trail

Viking Comics Inc. Two – The Horned God and the Wild Huntseeress toni

Viking Comics Inc Volume Threeoski light

Model-making Done for the DAyA new regular feature – Grumble Monthly

I declared a Kingsea king

I tried artwild creature

wizardTen years a storyteller

A plan to conquer the Viking worldsnapped zena and meI am going to Gudvangen

I play with toys

Toys

I did poems

I was things

I planned a fishing trip and saw mooseelk 03

(You gotta look at that one, it’s my fave)

I cut out dollies

ade silouhetteI met ghosts

Medieval Historybig hat smiles

best tellerI got wistful

I ranted

I cookedme n amanda

12049342_495805563939884_3566201213765577221_nI got spooky

I opened a festival (on TV)

I discovered whole worlds

News of Faeries (btw I am about to prove that little people exist)

Stay close

There is so much more x

Watch It Norway – It Is Ten Thousand Years Today

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Watch It Norway – It is Ten Thousand Years Today.

Yes,

It is ten thousand years today since the whole edge of Norway actually dropped off.

Had quite an effect on the world.

Made Britain separate from Europe.

Destroyed whole townships along where the English Channel appeared and along the North Sea

Not to mention making Norway quite thin.

I am hoping it isn’t a regular event.

Because it is due in the morning.

(I am sure quite a few of you are too.)

Cos if it does happen again in the early hours.

It will cause quite a few problems.

Norway would be like a ledge.

The people from over in Sweden will be calling over, “Hey are you alright over there!”

And all the Norwegians will be like lined up with their backs to Sweden (Yes I know that tends to happen anyway) edging along an, erm, well, edge.

They will be balanced on their heels in a long thin line holding hands.

They will call over their shoulders, “Yes we are fine thank you.”

“We are edging our way upwards this week and next week we will be working our way down south again.”

“That’s all we can do really, shuffle upwards or shuffle back down again.”

“The government told us we will all be alright as long as we hold hands.”

“And we always do whatever the government tell us to do whatever party is in power cos we are like that.”

“Right everyone shuffle right.”

(Whispered, “And try not to think about personal space, but rather think about Norwegian Arms”.)

I know I know this wont be funny if it really happens in the morning.

And possibly isn’t funny at all anyway.

But I dreamed it, and it seemed funny then.

Just thank god it didn’t happen to China, cos then when they whispered messages along the line it would all go wrong.

norway thin