My Seven Favourite Books

My Seven Favourite books of all time

I’ve failed.

My friend Olivia challenged me to post a book a day on Facebook and what have I done? Posted them on WordPress.

I’ve failed again. She said I had to post one a day. I’ve done them all at once.

She said I had to pick seven. I’ve picked nine.

That’s another failure.

She said books. I’ve mainly picked series.

I am failing badly.

She said books. I chose a comic book (series).

Fails all the way.

I am supposed to nominate one person a day to keep the thing going. I have published them all at once.

Help me I failed.

You will have to nominate yourself. or share it to others. We have to keep this thing going. It is imperative to the continued growth of humanity. Share and nominate.

First off is the big cheat a comic book. Tin Tin, any Tin Tin.

tin tin

I think my favourite must be this one; The Clan of the Cave Bear. I must have read the Earth Children’s series several times, so that makes it my favourite I guess.

clan

The recording below might be considered a chapter spoiler, but it is also a really good bit. I’ve tried to leave it as a cliff hanger.

The Gap series is intriguing. No one in it is perfect. In fact just about everyone in it is horrid, but there will be a time when each one will have you cheering for them.

gap

Kevin J Anderson is pretty good too. My son Luke says there are more deaths than in the Game of Thrones.

7
7th

Luke tells me there is a follow up trilogy; The Saga of Shadows.

I needn’t write anything about this next one. My recordings tell it all.

dice

I have written several prose poem blogs as a result of this one…

robert graves

I could just say read anything by Terry Pratchett. No, read everything by him. I will say that if you haven’t read anything by the late great storyteller, keep at it. People often say they found one hard to get into. I don’t see it myself, but folks say that. Think it’s all the characters in the Disc World books. Here is a real departure in Nation. Totally different to all  his other books. Mind you I will be introducing the Long Earth series a bit later down, and they are totally different to any book ever written, ever.

nation

It is not sci fi or fantasy but it is set in slightly alternative reality where history happened a bit different.

Here is my storytellers bible. Well, for Norse stuff anyway. I get all my knowledge of the Norse belief system through this guy.

norse

The Long Earth.

long

What a team.

If I was going to read Pratchett, this is where I would start…

tiffany

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Maskerade Art in Memory of the Late Wonderful Terry Pratchett

Maskerade Art in Memory of the Late Wonderful Terry Pratchett

We are in performance of Maskerade at the Black Swan Inn, Peaseholme Green, York, UK the evenings of 26th, 27th, 28th February 2018

For details contact wearetheatre@googlemail.com

Geebo, Mrs Plinge, Man with Specs, Tommy Cripps, Nanny Ogg, Agnes Nitt, Man with a Death Wish, Corporal Nobbs, Kitchen Woman, Mr Seldom Bucket, Coachman, Enrico Basilica, Kevin,  Mr Pounder, Woman with Chocs, Dancer, Dr Underschaft, Thieves, Walter Plinge, Andre, Manager, Christine, Colette, Granny Weatherwax, Sergeant Detritus, Arno, The Grim Squeaker: Got spot who is who…

me theif
witche k
ratcatcher (2)
possibly michael
specs death wish
phantom (2)
sqeak (2)
thief girl (2)
tommy 01 (2)
perdita 02 (2)
perdita 01 (2)
pal of perdita (2)
mrs plinge 02
him thief
woman off
mop 02
man
long coat man (2)
long coat (2)
cat
junior thief
junior fag (2)
james i think (2)
guards (2)
fat thief
big man
et er (2)
dancers (2)
coachman (2)
chocs (2)
ben (2)

See also An Introduction to the Discworld of Terry Pratchett

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Bits

I am fed up that everything I tile is collected by auto-chicken.

I realise now that my mistake was probably that I tried to type auto-check instead of auto-collect.

But it has been collected.

There is obviously a fault. At least with the auto-correct but possibly worse than that. So while we are stuck here I might as well carry on.

There’s the joke of the year from Edinburgh Fringe by Ken Cheng,  “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.”

Well, things were different before the changes.

A previous year Tim Vine won with “I sold my vacuum cleaner, well it was just gathering dust.”

My son in law Spee tells me that Norwegian ships have a bar code on the side so they can Scandinavian.

On to my new look with the curls.

Now that it has grown back the way it has I don’t remember what my hair was like before I had radiotherapy, but I am sure it didn’t make mature women giggle like girls.

One Direction, they went their separate ways.

Away from humour and on to poetry with this corker from Ralph Bear (thank you ever so)

For Adrian

Me pen and paper

Me sword in hand

Me march off to unknown lands

Me get me got

Godspeed I trot

Me pen and paper

Me sword in hand

                        Ralph Bear

Here’s my big lad who has hit the big time…

This popped up again recently, created by Olivia Jayne Newton. As a promotion for the first ever stage production I’ve been in.

And my dream:

I dreamed that in the olden days what people who had excess limbs did is they joned the navy. Navy surgeons are renowned for cutting off limbs so sooner or later it is bound to happen. Neville had three legs so he joined up and a couple of years later there was an incident and sure enough the surgeon sawed one of his legs off. So he was able to come home with two.

When Mervin, (who had five arms) saw him returning looking so well balanced he too decided to go away to the navy. Eight years he was there, then sure enough there was an incident and they sawed off one of his arms. Trouble was, they sawed off the right arm, which was the only one he had at that side and left the other four he had on the left side as they were.

There is a moral to this story, or at least there was a moral to it in the dream.

NASA announced lately that they had discovered a planet that could harbour life, but it couldn’t be guarenteed that there was intelligent life there; of course there is, who do they think built the harbour.

I blogged a collection of poetry recently.

On the 27th of October I shall be performing in Scarborough Art Gallery Hobb the Night Guard and the amazement of museums. Here is Hobb’s recent stories for the Fossil Festival.

Viking Comic Inc rereleases include Oski and the Amulet, The Hammer Flies and the Greek myth of Zeus and Typhon.

There’s my travelogue of Denmark.

Turning Points in Life’s Journey.

My multi-national performances in Gudvangen, Norway; Viking Sagas in a Nutshell.

An dof course my very popular Cancer Care Capers.

For any of you who haven’t heard, I was given the all clear last week.

Feedback on my Discworld Blog;

“And, oh my! what a joy to receive your narrative on and your utterly delightful drawings of the most marvellous place to be in in the entire Multiverse.  (Tho’ I can’t help thinking your portrait of C.M.O.T. Dibbler is just a little too flattering; “unsavoury”, after all, is not just a word that applies literally to his wares, it also applies metaphorically to his person.)” Julie Speedie

Discworld blog

And here is the last magazine type blog I did…

Do buy the guy

guy-link-board

Introduction to the Discworld of Terry Pratchett. What was I doing! My beloved friends ‘We Are Theatre’ invited me to audition and here I am writing Fan Fiction!!!!!!

Introduction to the Discworld of Terry Pratchett. What was I doing! My beloved friends ‘We Are Theatre’ invited me to audition for their forthcoming production of Maskerade (the play of the book by Terry) and here I am writing Fan Fiction!!!!!!

Or possibly summarising the work of a great writer in a few paragraphs is the greater crime of plagor…

Let’s not go there.

I am a big fan though. When I was asked to audition (and quietly knew I would be in there somewhere) I felt a synopsis of the whole world of Terry P would entertain and slightly redirect their approach to his work……

(So I wrote it on the train with all its inaccuracies)

Welcome to Budapest, I said walking in the door with a leaflet in my hand, “He’s started!” “Wait hang on, we haven’t sat down yet.”

buda

The great city of Budapest was originally two towns; the two towns of Buda and Pest. Buda was very poor and filthy and Pest was filthy rich. Hang on, that’s not right, that’s Ankh Morpork!

Ankh was filthy and Morpork was filthy r…, well you’ve got the idea.

Terry stole it off there.

Two towns and they grew and grew till they came towards each other and when they became connected by a bridge they became a huge city.

Long ago that was and new folks come along of all types all the time; if you want to be in the city you build in the city, so folks built on tops of old buildings. There are several layers of buildings sinking away below what you see. Many of those layers far below (shiver) are still lived in.

The city is protected though. It has the Watch. It needs protecting because everything in this world was stolen; stolen by the master storyteller himself. The very Terry who robbed from history, folklore, religion, tourist guides – and they call this comedy.

carrot

We are safe though. There is the Watch. The honest one on the Watch is Carrot; the huge strong tall leader of it all these days; he is huge, strong, tall, proper and slowly steady. He could keep the whole city in order on his own.

dwarves

He is six foot eight and he is a dwarf. They found him when just a babe with just his regal sword by his side and raised him as their own. When he no longer fitted in the cave without a double stoop they felt he ought to venture into the world of those, er, other, er, folk…..

The Watch, yes that was it, the Watch.

There is a lot to be said for the highly untrustworthy Corporal Nobbs. Nobbs. Nobby Nobbs for short; he is short, and ‘technically’ human. You can trust him to find the thieves though, because he is very interested, in a personal way, in the things which they took – he will find them.

colon and nobbs

The night shift is also the best place for his boss Captain Fred Colon many decades he has been on nights, his wife is on days, any other arrangement would take the romance right out of it.

vimes

Commander Vimes, who married the lady of the manor, puts on his old ‘copper’ boots and comes back to help out in a crisis, these old boots have huge holes in the soles which he has lined with cardboard. You can feel the cobbles under your feet and you know just where you are.

kings

He probably got involved when the Kings Head was demolished over night, but it was rebuilt in minutes early in the morning. Soon as Tiffany found out.

Yes, you knew it, it was the little, blue all over guys with nothing but a kilt and a very very bad attitude, (and mouth).

kings

They got in a fight with the landlord and demolished the place.

tiffany

Yes, Tiffany the girl witch of merely eight or so, “Hag o all hags yer ken,” she knew.

“Ok nay., she’s makin of the folding of the arms, she will be doing the tapping of the foot…..”

They ran back down there and rebuilt the Kings Head in minutes, trouble is they built it backwards. Now everyone has to go in through the back way – so, they don’t call it the Kings Head anymore…

dibbler

You are safe in the city, well unless you buy a sausage. Cut My Own Throat Dibbler is out there hollering his wares and if you are to buy one of his so-called sausages you will soon begin to understand why the River Ankh is almost possible to walk across.

You would be safer doubling up your expenditure and buying his top of the range product, the rat on a stick – at least you would know what it is.

All stolen, even the disc; if you peer over the edge of this round flat world you may see that it rests on the back of four elephants, they in turn stand upon the back of A’Tuin the giant turtle. A’Tuin is on a galactic mission, flying through space to meet another turtle with a disc on its back – to mate.

turtles

The worry is, is A’Tuin a male, because we will probably be all alright then. Or, is A’Tuin a female, in which case when they meet up we are all in trouble.

You may wish to be rushing back to the city nearer the centre of the disc, for there behind you is the great mountain. You may need to pray to a god for protection. If you want to please one you will need to eat a lot of broccoli, to please another you will need to eat a lot of chocolate – I cannot influence you too much, it is your choice in the end, broccoli or cho……

If you are wanting to get away with things you may wish to choose Blind Io.

patrician

There they all are on the mountain above Ankh Morpork which is ruled with an iron fist of subtle manipulation by the Patrician.

drag slay

Carrot of the Watch should be the ruler, he has the royal sword and the birth mark and just might go about killing a dragon, but if he does everyone will have forgotten by morning.

the theives
assasin
theif

He does his best against the Thieves Guild. But the gentle Patrician, who is only standing in till the real king is found, has the guild organised. If you are robbed they will take eight per cent of your current monthly income and they will utilise half of this to employ the Assassins Guild to remove from the city any unregistered thieving types.

You are safe here though. Across the gulf of the Ankh is the great bridge, and, looking out forever upon the sea, from this bridge are huge great brass hippopotamus’.

hippos

If ever there were to come, it is said, foreign enemy fleets from the seas toward Ankh Morpork the hippopotamus’ would be the on the bridge looking out, they would see the enemy and they will come alive and – promptly run away – this is the nature of this city.

You are safe here, until a dark figure is cast in a role and walks into a dark theatre with a dark mask upon his face and audiences are entranced; when I played him in audition he fell below the casting table and stretched back up with a mask upon his face, “You call this a comedy!”

See Maskerade in the Upper Theatre of the ancient Black Swan Inn 26th to 28th February 2018

We Are Theatre